Dear Fanfiction Authors
by Rubybird2329
Summary: The Cahill family finds out about fanfiction. Dedicated to 39CluesFan-Star. This is my first story, feel free to give constructive criticism. Put on hiatus for now.
1. Amy

**So um hi! This is my first fanfiction, hopefully you like it, about the series 39 Clues. Warning, I have only been able to read up to the Vesper incident, so bear with me. Feel free to give suggestions for notes and such. Anyway on with the story! Oh, by the way, this is dedicated to 39CluesFan-Star, who gave me enough courage to write this.**

Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Um, so hi. This is Amy Cahill. I don't even know how you found out about the Clue hunt and Vesper stuff, it's not like we advertised it after all….so could you please stop writing about it, we don't really need people swarming us and asking questions about it. Thanks.

-Amy Cahill


	2. Jake

**A/N: Yay! Second chapter! This one is focused on Jake. I don't really know if they are dating or no so please correct me if I am wrong on that. No offense to Amian lovers.**

Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Hi. So, I gotta talk about this pairing called "Amian". First of all, Amy is dating me. Not Ian. Plus, at the end of all that Vesper stuff, she _**kissed**_ me. _**ME.**_ Not that self righteous, and not to mention cocky, jerk. Not to mention that she _**openly**_ admitted her feelings for me. In front of everyone. Everyone. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Got it? Now, I would very much appreciate you to stop writing about Amy and Ian being "together". I swear if I see one more fanfic about those two being in love, I will hunt you down. Got it? Good.

-Jake R.


	3. Dan

**A/N: Hey guys! Chapter three is up! I'm a terrible writer, I know, third time's the charm though. Trying to get better! I'm open for suggestions for other stories, I am open to write 39 Clues, Fairy Tail, Assassination Classroom, and Warrior Cats. On with the story!**

Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Heyo! Ninja master Dan in the house! Heh. Anyway, I wrote to talk about this thing called "Natan". What even is that though? But I've noticed that every time I have read a story where the summary says "Bits of Natan" or "Main pairing is Natan", me and Natalie end up being in love. Like, what? News flash, Natalie is _dead._ Alright? She was killed by that big glowy electronic thing that she tried to kick but got electrocuted. She ain't coming back. Nothing is gonna bring her back. I don't wanna be reading "Natalie….was somehow… _ **alive**_. 'Natalie' Dan whispered, tears gathering in his eyes. 'I-I thought I lost you…'. Natalie smiled gently, walking up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. 'I could never leave you Dan' She whispered, her soft lips brushing against Dan Cahill's ear, sending waves of heat where her plump mouth touched. He let out a feral growl, grabbing her waist and initiating a fiery and passionate kiss." Just…no. Okay? We were not in love in any way. We hated each other, then we became okay. Then she died. Maybe we would have been if she hadn't kicked that thing, but we aren't and that is that. Don't write about things that won't happen.

-Ninja Dan


	4. Nellie

**A/N: Alright! Chapter four! Just so you know, I will try to post at least three chapters daily. Sometimes I will post more, or sometimes I won't post at all.**

Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Oh so this is what all the fuss is about. Meh. I'm fine with fanfiction. Still don't get what Amy and Dan and Jake are screaming about. Jeez. These are nice stories. **Well clearly you haven't read** __ **the ones about you and Jonah.** __Wait…what? Me and Jonah? **Yeah. You and Jonah.** __Dan ya gotta be messing with me. **Nope. It's true. Do you think I would lie to you?**...Yes. **What?! What kinda person do you think I am?!** One that would lie just to get a good laugh. **Fine be that way.** Fine. **Fine.** Fine. **Fine.** Fine. Ugh. Bye. Now I have to go read some of these Nellie and Jonah fics.

-Nellie **And Dan.**


	5. Jonah

Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Wassup! Da Wiz is in the HOUSE! Woot Woot! Anyways, I know you want autographs and all that, since I _**am**_ famous am I right? But I came to talk about all the girls ya'll pair me up with. Like first it was Sinead, who I have no feelings for by the way…I think. And then there's me and Amy. Like, are you CRAZY?! Her boyfriend would _**murder**_ me if I even tried to hold her hand! Oh crap. The paparazzi is here. And when I would usually be fine with the paparazzi taking pictures and trying to get closer, this time they brought… _ **reporters**_. What? It's not like I appreciate being asked millions of questions. Wait… _how the hell did they find me?!_ Someone has been stalking me. Definitely. Not the first time it has happened. OH CRAP THEY ARE COMIN' CLOSER! LATER!

-Jonah "Da Wiz" Wizard


	6. Dan Part Two

**A/N: Hi again! Sorry I haven't updated this for a bit. I've decided to put it on pause for now, until I finish my murder mystery for Scrittore18's challenge. Here's one more chapter to make it up to ya.**

Dear Fanfiction Authors,

Hey again! It's Ninja Master Dan *Cough* I mean Dan Cahill again! Just wanted to clear something up, the last letter I wrote to ya was about Natan…right? I think so yeah. Anyway just wanted to clear up that I guess you can write stories for me and Natalie as long as it is set before the Vesper incident, or you absolutely have to change it in order for the story to continue. So…yeah…ha. I guess that is it. OH! WAIT! And also, please do not hate on other author's 39 Clues stories cuz we don't like it. Got it? Yeah. Bye.

-Dan Cahill


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